


Gotham's Salty WIP

by evera6234



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Bashing, Adrien Stalker vibes, Adrien salt, Alya Césaire Bashing, Alya Salt, Badass Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Crack, F/M, Lila Rossi Bashing, Lila Rossi Lies, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Lila salt, Might change ratings and warnings later soo, OOC Bruce Wayne, Protective Damian Wayne, Protective Jason Todd, Saltinette, So I got an editor so yay!, almost ml crack but not ml crack bc we salty in here, can I just say everyone here is OOC so take that with you and plz don’t complain too too much, class salt, im sorry my guy but that’s kidnapping, keep that in mind, marinette and chloe bff vibes, ml salt, the adoption race begins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25854331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evera6234/pseuds/evera6234
Summary: Marinette Dupain-Cheng goes to Gotham whilst carrying three years worth of emotional baggage, what she does with it, we don't know. Does she lug it around? Probably. Does she kick it off a skyscraper? Not probable, but maybe. Does she use it to drop kick an unsuspecting liar. Most definitely.No update schedule but I'll update as soon as I can! Teen+ bc cursing!Edited by Ollietheturtle
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Daminette - Relationship, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Bruce Wayne, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Jason Todd, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Plagg/Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug)
Comments: 298
Kudos: 792





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Umm.. First fic on AO3. K. We doin this, and we starting with this god awful piece of trash. Yes. Life. Fuck. 
> 
> Things ur signing up for:
> 
> \- Big boi Mari & Chloe Friendship Good Vibes TM  
> \- My ass shitting on Adrien bc im a salty bitch (and if u aint about that life, its ok. U can leave bc im not interested in fighting with people. No offence or disrespect to adrien stans but yea)  
> \- And Adrien stalker moments  
> \- Lila and Alya salt (plz see “im a salty bitch”)  
> \- Shitty update schedule, if any. I’m counting on yall to harass me to write.  
> \- Marinette & Jason “sibling-esque” relationship bc we all need that  
> \- The class will not be “Our singular communal brain-cell is fucking dead, help.” levels of dumb, but still “I have the IQ of a wet potato sack” levels of dumb.  
> \- Eventual negation of canon bc we live that life  
> \- “Espresso with a dash of Depresso” Moments TM later  
> \- I'm originally an MLB fan. So do what you will with that info.  
> \- The good old “Ozmav AU” but with some lime and spice  
> \- As slow burn as I can  
> \- Repercussions of having multiple identities treated completely differently  
> \- And….. sorry…. Ppl will kinda be OOC but im trying my very best. 
> 
> Tbh I have no idea where this going rn but... i mean… it going somewhere (specifically hell) because everything does. Leave ideas plz, don’t kill me. Just bully me. 
> 
> So yea. Lemme know what u want and if I want to, I might just squeeze it into the fic (if it fit ofc, im not just gonna add random 50 year time-lapses). I'll try my best ;)))) (<\-- my quadruple chin)

Chloe’s head hangs heavy on Mari’s shoulder as the pressurised air surrounding them vibrates with the sounds… of well… a plane. Chloe had a tough couple weeks; late night combat practises with the new team (LB, Hornet, Viperion and Ryuuko) has obviously taken a toll on her partner. Both wrapped in a thick velvet blanket that Chloe remembered to pack (thank kwami) sharing a pair of headphones, both were lulled into a peaceful slumber.

Alya laughs as Lila tips her small glass of diet coke (that a flight attendant painstakingly poured for her) on a sleeping Marinette’s side of Chloe’s blanket, effectively waking her up. “Oopsies! Sorry Marinette! You see, the cabin air has really been worsening my arthritis. I didn’t mean it! I swear! Cross my heart!” apologised Lila with fake concern as Alya giggles beside her. 

Marinette, literally seeing Lila’s crossed figures behind her back says “At least Chloe is still sleeping, she needs the rest.” Alya, Lila and her empty cup saunter beck to their seats nearby. 

* * *

Mari and her class finally land in Gotham’s cold December night. Freshly hushed into a private shuttle, the class are driven to their hotel. It is late: around 3:30 AM. With heavy eyelids the class gazed out the bus’s windows in awe. The merging view of traffic and Christmas lights chase them to their residence. No one really remembers or knows what happened that night. Just the feeling of falling, be it into a white fluffy hotel comforter or into the crisp Gotham air. 

* * *

“Oh! My! Gosh!!!” hears Marinette as Lila on the bus to Wayne Enterprise. “I feel so. At. Home!” In Marinette’s tired ears, there were more exclamation marks. 

“Of course… The only thing that can inhabit Gotham alleyways are cockroaches and villains,” Chloe grumbles beneath her breath, looking out the window.

“What have I ever done to you Chloe?” Lila cries, “I understand why Marinette bullies me, she is a _jealous and vile girl_ . But I thought you, Chloe, want to be a better person, _not a bully like that bitch, Marinette_!”

“How dare you. _How dare you._ HOW DARE YOU!” Chloe yells as the recent words loop in her mind, 

“Not gonna call your daddy, huh?” Alya taunts. 

Chloe, with tears in her eyes begins, but is quickly interrupted by Marinette, “No she will not. She doesn’t need to. Chloe grew a lot over the last couple months, I’m so proud of her. She doesn’t need your _bitch-ass, cockroach-ass_ approval.” Marinette grasps Chloe’s hand which previously wrapped itself around the fabric of Chloe’s heavy caramel winter coat.

“Quiet on the bus!”, A yell came from the front.

“But, Mr. Bus Driver… Marinette is being a…”

“Shut it! Y’all want me to kamikaze this shit into a building? I’m guessing y’all value your lives so shut it!” 

“Ms.Guardian, can I please have a cookie?” Pollen softly asks from the inside of Chloe’s giant white faux leather handbag.

“Shh… Pollen! Now’s not the time!!!” stresses Tikki.

“Please Ms. Guardian!!! I’m so so so hungry. This bag isn’t very warm and it’s taking all my energy to keep warm. A lil blubber wouldn’t hurt…. please!!”.

“Of course Pollen,” quietly respond Mari with a grin, “Here you go.” She pulls out a couple cookies from a Tupperware and hands them to Pollen. “Please share them with Tikki,” whispers Marinette into the bag. 

  
Marinette and Chloe then hears two tiny “thank you”s followed by the sound that can only be described _increasingly aggressive chomping_. Both girls giggle quietly.

* * *

“Welcome to Gotham,” says an unenthusiastic man at the front desk. “Congratulations, you are…” He checks his computer. “On time? Interesting.”

“Yes, we are aware,” grumbles Mrs. Bustier, already done with the man’s attitude.

“Okay so before the tour starts I’m doing to need the student who set-up this field trip to sign a couple forms and stuff. Here ya go.” The man pushed a _thicc_ pile of paper into the teachers hand. 

“Oooh! That would be me sir!” Lila chirped, intercepting the papers before skipping back to the posse of her’s. A few seconds after beginning to fill out paperwork Lila cries “Ouch! My wrist! My arteritis! Can someone help me filling out all these form.” 

“I’ll fill them out, I’m only going to need your signatures,” offered Max.

“Thank you Max, you are so sweet!” Lila complements. 

“Of course, your arteritis was badly affected by the altitude yesterday, you shouldn’t be staining your wrist so early!” Max blushed. 

“Maribug, you gonna to say something?” 

“Nah, just watch. Entertainment without a Netflix membership.”

"K"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've finished Chapter 1 I've got a decent idea where this story is going, I hope.
> 
> In the reviews leave prompts and stuff and ill see if i can throw them in somewhere!!! If yall wanna beta lmk, im completely open. And plz forgive me for spelling and grammar. I suck. This is kinda the length of chapters im used to writing, but im hoping to be able to write longer ones soon. 
> 
> So yea. Hope u liked it. This chapter honestly had me for the longest time bc i was trying to figure out where to go with the basic daminette premise which lowkey are all the same (not that that is bad or anything bc ive read and loved a ton of similar fic regardless of their homologous nature bc im a sucker for some good salt).
> 
> As soon as this is posted im probably going to start working on Chapter 2 so hopefully yall will have that soon!!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Chapter 2!!!! In here I got Ollietheturtle's prompt. In here i got adrien debut. so yea. have fun!!!!!

“Yeah, your signatures don’t line up…” says the man at the front desk. “You said your name was… Lila Rossi, right? I’m looking for a... Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

“Present,” an amused Marinette announces.

“No! There must have been a mistake. I personally talked to Brucie and his 4 sons, Jason Grayson, Tim Todd, Dick Drake and my precious _Damibear_!”

“Yeah no. That 100% didn’t happen. 100%,” the somewhat peeved front desk attendant grins.

“How dare you talk to Lila like that! What’s your name? Give me your manager's number!” Alya fumes in a french accent (A/N: total karen moment intentionally placed). 

“My name is Andrew Winston, and my supervisor….”

“Hey Andrew, what’s poppin!” says a voice. After observation one could say that said voice comes from a tall muscular man, with a white streak in his hair, wearing a leather jacket.

“My blood vessels, Jason. _My blood vessels_. Why are you here? You weren’t supposed to be here today.”

“Yeah, Dick broke his arm yesterday at home. He fell down the stairs. And since I am such an amazing brother, I decided that I would fill in for him today!”

“You were forced,” concludes Andrew as he scratches out Lila’s name off the previously mentioned _thicc_ stack of papers with a black marker. 

“Yup.”

“This is the class you are supposed to caddy around WE. And they seem to be a bit peeved right now.”

Jason sighs, “Ok. what’s the issue…”

“They are saying that Lila Rossi, here” Andrew points to Lila, then looks down at his notes “says she spoke to a Brucie, a _Jason Grayson, a Tim Todd, a Dick Drake_ and _her precious Damibear_ to set up this field trip. My info here says that a girl named Marinette Dupain-Cheng set this trip up but they don’t believe me.” Andrew nonchalantly continues “Speaking of which, Marinette please sign on all the starred lines. Lila and her friend already filled out everything else.”

“ _Tim Todd!_ ” Jason chokes. 

* * *

The tour had slows down in a corridor as Jason let the students go on a quick bathroom and water break. Lila had left for the bathroom, and it is safe to say that Marinette learnt her lesson to avoid bathroom confrontations with Lila. They were never fun, and right now she doesn’t think she can handle a wet shirt in winter. 

“Really, Marinette. You take credit for all of Lila’s hard work,” says Kim passing by.

“Do you have any idea how hard Lila worked on this, and you know she hardly has any time to spare.” Max pitches in. 

“Yeah. Lila worked so fucking hard concocting the names _Jason Grayson, Tim Todd and Dick Drake_. Sounds like the revamped cast to The Three Stooges,” Chloe crackles giggling.

“I sure wonder how Tim Todd and Jason Grayson are today? Are they well?” Marinette questions sarcastically.

“Absolutely fucking amazing after hearing that!” Jason wheezes, overhearing the conversation. Jason gave Marinette a knowing look that confirmed an earlier inference. This Jason was Jason Todd. This was priceless. 

Adrien’s eyes narrow on his angered face. “What was she doing.” “She promised to take the high road.” “She only needs me, I’m her best friend.” He watched the situation from a distance, unnoticed by Marinette. But as sly he is, he did not slip Jason’s radar.

* * *

“So y’all, 1:30pm. That means, Lunch time! Right and you’ll be at the cafeteria, I’ll be joining you guy in about 15 minutes. So fuel up. Remember to show your IDs, lunch is on the house! Bon appetit!” Jason cheerfully announces, bows dramatically (like actors at the end of a play) and he turns around.

A bit into lunch Mrs. Bustier comes up to Marinette and Chloe’s table. “Marinette, can I talk to you?” asks Mrs. Bustier. 

“Can I come too, Mrs. Bustier?” asks Chloe suspiciously

“No, Chloe. This is just in between Marinette and I, sorry.” Mrs. Bustier replies sternly.

“It’s okay, Chloe. I’ll be fine,” reassures the Ladybug Holder, squeezing the Bee Holder’s hand.

‘Ok, fine. Let me know if something happens.” Then Chloe leans in to whisper to Marinette, “Audio record it, just in case.” Marinette nods. 

“Ok, Mrs. Bustier. I’m coming!” replies the bluenette happily as she follows Mrs. Bustier away from the crowd. 

Adrien, from his table with Nino, Alya and Lila watches, “Hey guys, I need to go to the bathroom,” he said before standing up.

* * *

“Marinette you should be setting an example for the class. What you did today, making fun of Lila was wrong,” Mrs. Bustier frowns. “You of all people know Lila's condition and you should be more accepting of her.” Disappointed, Mrs. Bustier continues, “I expect you to apologize to her before we head back to the hotel.”

“With all respect, no thank you. I will not apologize for my actions,” Marinette sternly begins. “Does the school have any medical record of her _illness_?” Marinette asks. “Why should I allow her to take credit for my hard work? And why do I have to be the model student who is obligated to be kind to everyone, when no one ever is to me?” Marinette, now more frustrated than before, questions the teacher. She felt a storm of emotion begin to stir. 

“Because you are the class representative! It is your responsibility to lead the class with your example! Lila is a student with needs, she needs to feel accepted by all her classmates and it is your job to fulfill her needs.”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Bustier, but sometimes I can’t shove a square in a circle. Sometimes I can’t do things. Lila is lying, and I can’t lie with her. I will not lie.i will not pretend to like her. And why must I be responsible for all the students in class, but receive no respect for it. Receive nothing but hate and insults. How is that fair for me?” Tears begin to collect in Marinette’s eyes. Mrs. Bustier, for the longest time, has been one of Marinette’s favourite teachers. The fact that right now Mrs. Bustier, couldn’t give less of a shit about her feeling hurt. 

“I understand but what about Lila’s feelings? I cannot let you bully Lila. You are being selfish right now, I never thought you could act like this. I am disappointed in you.” Mrs. Bustier finishes as she walks away. 

“What about MY feelings. What about me, what’s so wrong with me being selfish every once in a while. Have you ever looked into my family’s bullying complaints against Lila? What about me?” Marinette cries desperately, as Mrs. Bustier walks away. “Why is everyone ignoring me?”

“The real question here is, why are you ignoring me?” growls a voice from behind Marinette. “I thought you promised me to take the high road.” Marinette’s eyes widen as she realizes who’s talking to her. 

“I never promised, Adrien. Not once. I can’t keep silent and alone for longer.”

“You are not alone, you have me. And I even LET you talk with Chloe.”

“Yes, I have Chloe and thank you _your majesty for letting me communicate with another human being_. And no, Adrien I do not have you,” Marinette raises her voice. “Lila has you, you only talk to me in secret. You let Lila lie, you let her hang off your pretty model arms when she wills. You are and were never on my side.”

“So you really are jealous?”

Marinette, delirious with anger frustration, her voice laced with contempt, “No, never.” 

He looks down at Marinette and smiles “Stop lying Marinette.” 

“I’m not.” Adrien looks back at Marinette, as if _he thinks_ he knows something. Then he stalks away. “I’M NOT!” Marinette yells. 

* * *

“So she said that she talked to Brucie, Jason _Grayson, Tim Todd, a Dick Drake_ and _her precious Damibear_!” Jason nearly on his side from laughing too hard. 

“ _DAMIBEAR_!” Tim howled in laughter, with his hands wrapped around his torso to somehow hold his ribcage together. Both brother’s are laughing their asses off in Tim’s office.

“I KNOW!”  
  


“Are we gonna tell him?” Tim begins to ask before he interrupts himself, “No! We are not. What we are going to do is call him that and let him figure it out, sooner or later he will meet the class and when he does…”

Jason let the scenario Tim described play in his head, “YES! You now speak my wavelength, to be honest maybe Lila wasn’t lying. You may be a Todd.”

“No fucking way am I one. By the way, you should check on the class, how long has it been since you left them?”

“Shit! Twenty minutes! Farewell, dear Replacement.”

“Have fun, report back on any juicy lies, specifically ones about sweet baby _Damibear_ or even _Brucie_.” 

* * *

“What the fuck was that?” thinks Jason as he hears two people arguing in a secluded hallway, “Marinette?” he thinks when he saw the girl, immediately putting a name to the face. But he didn’t know the boy. Jason whips out his phone and quickly takes a picture of the situation, making sure to get a clear shot of the boy’s face. For research purposes.

> **Gunz Blazin': Hey Tim Todd**
> 
> **Gunz Blazin': Can you gimme a background check for this guy**
> 
> **(*attaches a cropped image of the mystery boy’s face*)**
> 
> **Boy Wonder: ???Tim Todd???**
> 
> **Replacement: I gotchu fam.**
> 
> **Boy Wonder: ???fam???**
> 
> **Boy Wonder: ???**
> 
> **Boy Wonder: Can I be a Todd too**
> 
> **Replacement: No you're a Drake**

Jason hears a voice coming from behind him, “That’s Adrien Agreste.” 

Jason turns his head to look at the boy again and hears more of the conversation. He turns back and she’s a tall-ish blonde girl with blue eyes. “You are? Marinette’s friend?”

“Yes.”

“And he is not Marinette’s friend?”

“He absolutely is not Marinette’s friend. He’s the ass-hat who thinks he owns Marinette. Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”

“Yes.”

“What if I just break his nose a little.” (Requested by Ollietheturtle)

“As an employee of Wayne Enterprises, I’m supposed to say no, but in all honestly I kinda wanna do that myself…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was it. i wrote a good amount more than the last chapter bc i kinda had the ball rolling and that was great. If yall have any prompts or such leave them in the comments and if they fir ill add them eventually. I have a couple already and i know exactly where to use them. Cant wait to post the next chapter, gonna have so much fun writing it. Thx to my new editor (Ollietheturtle) for dealing with my shit and yea!!!! yay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Ok so i just noticed an issue with my last episode and it’s notes. So i had to play around to fix it. Anywho. Chapter 3!!! Honestly Im writing this note before I start writing the chapter, i kinda have an idea what im doing and i kinda dont. Im just gonna let this chapter roll. 
> 
> Me after like…. 3 days: sorry I haven't written. Was kinda busy, now imma sit down and acc write.

After a couple minutes of some surface level research Tim pulled out his phone.

> **Replacement: The boy is Adrien Agreste**
> 
> **Replacement: His dad is Gabrielle Agreste**
> 
> **Replacement: *Gabrielle**
> 
> **Replacement: Fuck autocorrect**
> 
> **Replacement: *Gabrielle**
> 
> **Replacement: *Gabrielle**
> 
> **Replacement: Ok I give up, the dude version of Gabriel**
> 
> **Replacement: *Gabriel**
> 
> **Replacement: *Gabriel**
> 
> **Replacement: What have I ever done to you autocorrect??**
> 
> **Gunz Blazin’: you a bit late there, mr tim todd**
> 
> ***** **_Gunz Blazin’_ ** **renamed** **_Replacement_ ** **, Tim Todd***
> 
> **Demon: Stop messaging so carelessly through this group chat you imbeciles!**
> 
> **Gunz Blazin’:** **_(insert emoji spam here)_ **
> 
> **Gunz Blazin’: Hey tim, can you do some research on marinette dupain-cheng?**
> 
> **Gunz Blazin’: And maybe a lila who is probably in her class**
> 
> **Tim Todd: Sure, gimme a bit of time.**

* * *

Regardless of how careless he seems to be, Jason is concerned. Thinking from what he could piece together, “The boy (Adrien Agreste) thinks that the girl (Marinette Dupain Cheng) is ignoring his advice and doesn’t like it. He also thinks Marinette is jealous of another person (Lila?), he thinks she is specifically jealous of how much time he and Lila spend together. But Marinette says she is not jealous.” Jason, deciding to gather more information before taking drastic measures, plans to approach Marinette calmly and act as though he had not seen what he had. 

Whatever flames his plans held are immediately extinguished by the high school blondie that should have been behind him, rather than in front of him bolting towards Marinette. “Marinette!” Chloe grieves as she wraps the small bluenette in her arms. “It’s okay, we’ll get them all. I won’t let them get away with this. You will never have to fight alone. Ever.”

“Thank you,” is the single phrase Marinette has the fight to utter before she closes her eyes and falls into a deep slumber. 

A few minutes after Marinette falls asleep Chloe reaches into Marinette’s pocket to stop the recording on her phone. Then she looks up at Jason, “You better find Marinette a place to sleep before I light your ass.”

Jason reluctantly sighs in defeat. “Fine.” He bends over and picks Marinette up before turning around and walking to Bruce Wayne’s currently empty office.

* * *

Our dear  _ Brucie  _ had been in quite the jam for the last couple weeks. Today, finally he returns home to Gotham after his final business trip, for what he hopes to be a couple months. He walks through the front doors of Wayne Enterprises and sees the french class (who won the chance to come to Gotham because of one of their student’s spectacular essay) prepare to head back to their hotel. Aside from one student on her phone, dialling like a madman, everything seems completely fine.

Bruce walks past them and to his office, outside his window he could see it was already pitch black, aside from Christmas lights. Bruce is content, he is free, at peace. Until he got closer to his office and heard ringing. “There shouldn’t be anyone calling me now, and if they would they would be calling my personal phone…” Bruce begins to think before it struck him. “BOMB!”

Bruce runs straight into his office, which in hindsight would be an extremely bad idea  _ (listen kids, never run into a bomb infested area. plz, i don't want my readers to go kaboom) _ looking to defuse a bomb. But when he looked around all he found was a girl sleeping and her ringing phone. He waddled closer to the girl and poked her shoulder, kinda freaking out. “Oh fuck. She needs to wake up. Selina’s gonna castrate, then kill me. I can’t have any rumours going around right now. I’m finally free.” 

Before he knew what was happening…  _ WHAM! _

* * *

Chloe is frenzied in fear. “Where the fuck in Marinette? Where the fuck is the tour guide?” Chloe scurries to our dear friend, front desk Andrew and asks. 

“Yea. He’s gone.. Probably to pick up his younger brother from school.” Andrew replies. 

“If you find Marinette, please call this number and let me know,” frantically, Chloe scribbles down her own number and hands it to Andrew who carelessly pockets it.

“Sure.”

Chloe is aflame. In the crime capital of the world, where is her best friend? Is she in danger? Where is Marinette? Chloe keeps calling her partner as the class boards the bus. As she sits alone in the back of the bus Chloe quietly prays “Please be safe,” she prays quietly.

“Don’t worry, she’s the ladybug. Not much can hurt her. She will be fine. Before the tour guide carried Ms. Guardian away, Tikki and Kaalki hid in her clothes” Pollen comforts from inside Chloe’s handbag.

Chloe visibly relaxes, just a bit.

* * *

Marinette just woke up has no idea where the fuck she is, but there is a dude poking her shoulder and she does not like that. At all.  _ WHAM _ ! 

Marinette now standing up, looks down at a grown-ass man. Recognising him she thinks, “I just assaulted Bruce Wayne!”, it did not sink in. She stared at him for a couple seconds. “FUCK! I just assaulted Bruce Wayne!!!!!!!” (Kinda sorta prompted by RoselynFey)

As Marinette begins to uncontrollably apologize, Bruce interrupts her, “Daughter. You are my daughter.”

This sentence now leads to Marinette sputtering like a madman. ( _ Bruce please stop adopting random children it ISN’T HEALTHY! -Ollietheturtle) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Im done the chapter and finally posting it. yay. I already started writing the next chapter so expect it soon-ish... idk. 
> 
> and just to be clear, the last sentence of the fic was written by ollietheturtle so yea. they get credit for that bc credit goes where it is due. What a masterpiece of a sentence! <3
> 
> So yea, if yall have any prompt you want me to include leave them below and u know, ill take some, leave some, or incorporate the prompt in a different way. if you want, to make things more organised for me, leave your prompts with the prefix "PROMPT:". 
> 
> Anywho, thx for readying :)))) <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea. Writing this. Nice. Just posted the last chapter. Have fun reading this, I hope. like all chapters, I kinda know how this chapter will end, and i kinda dont. lets see where it goes.

“I am so so so so so so sorry Monsieur Wayne. I didn't mean to… *ahem* flip you. I am so sorry!!!” Marinette continuously apologizes.

“Can I adopt you?” Bruce asks.

“I don’t think so Monsieur Wayne. I have parents.” 

“That doesn’t matter, do not resist (kinda prompted by Bbgirl3191 and according to them, is stolen from Rouge One) You can call me Bruce, or dad. Whatever you like.” Bruce made a mental note to look into the girl’s parents, and see if he could buy them off.

“Monsieur Wayne, did I flip you a little too hard. Should I call a hospital?” Marinette squeaked frantically searching for her ringing phone. Which she finds, silences and begins to call

“No, and please call me Bruce,” the man pushes as he puts his hand on her phone to stop heer from calling, “or dad,” he then adds in a hopeful whisper. Marinette was speechless. Had she broken Bruce Wayne?

“Hey  _ Brucie _ ,” a familiar snicker interrupts Marinette from the door. Jason. “Damibear’s in the car with Alfred, we’re waiting for you. Little D got himself into a bit of a sticky situation. I mostly resolved it but ya gotta sign some stuff, like now. .” Jason turns and sees Marinette. “Hey Pixie-pop, whatcha still doing here. Your class should have left by now.”

“ _ Still here? _ You knew she was here.” Bruce then adds in a hushed voice, “They don’t even call me dad. I want to be a dad

“Yeah. I put her here. She was a bit… emotionally stressed and needed a bit of a nap.”

“You could have told me.”

“I could have, but I do not regret it. She did a number on you. Hey Pixie-pop, what did you do to Bruce here?”

“I kinda…” Marinette starts.

“She did nothing.” Bruce quickly intercepts to salvage whatever pride he had. 

“Nah nah nah, Bruce. She obviously did something and you look beat. Nothing gonna save you right now,” Jason laughs. “What did you do dearie?”

“I…  _ fhensljgned _ him…” Marinette muttered.

“What was that,” Jason presses.

“I kinda… flipped him.”

“YOU FLIPPED HIM!” Jason howls in pure laughing bliss. “Brucie boy… you have been DESTROYED! Just you wait until the others hear this.”

“Since you enjoy talking with Miss…” Bruce stops, a bit blank on the name

“Marinette,” the bluenette fills in.

“Miss Marinette so much, you can give her a ride home?” Bruce wags his finger. 

“Yeah Bruce. You attempting to parent me doesn’t cover the fact that you have been fucking destroyed by a highschool girl,” Jason continues to laugh. “But, I would love to give little Pixie-pop a ride home!” Jason grabbed Mari’s arm and drags her away

“Wait!” Bruce calls out. “Not on the…”

“Bye  _ Brucieeee _ , we’ll be taking my motorcycle.”

“I just said no moto…”

“Can’t hear buh byeee!!” Jason calls out. “Don’t worry it’s safe,” he then reassures Marinette.

“I highly doubt that but whatever a ride’s a ride,” Marinette giggled.

“You’re my type of person.” Jason grinned.

* * *

Back at the hotel Chloe is buzzing with not only worry but anger. “Dumb-shit, white-streak, leather-jacket-wearing ass hoodlum stole MY MARINETTE!” Chloe screeches loudly as she slams the bathroom door of their shared suite.

“SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP, BITCH!,” yelled a voice from an adjacent suite.

“Shut the fuck up,” Chloe responds loudy as she opens a window. “Damn, I sound like an ass,” she thinks. “Sorry,” she then yells. 

This was really starting to get to her. She needed air, and to find Marinette herself. “Pollen, buzz on-”

“I’m kinda hungry, Chloe…” Pollen asks.

Chloe quickly runs into the kitchenette and grabs a croissant, which she then hands to Pollen. After waiting as patiently as possible for Pollen to finish, Chloe was out the window. 

Just as the doorknob for the hotel suite started to jingle and turn.

* * *

Bruce reached for the top left drawer of his desk (Prompted by Constance_Truggle). He finds a paper  _ No more Bruce. Enough -Tim.  _ Bruce sighs, Tim took his adoption forms again. Bruce, clearly lacking the understanding his sons and daughters have, calls Alfred. “Afred, can you please bring some adoption forms to my office.”

“Are you not supposed to come home, Master Bruce?”

“That can wait, please bring the adoption forms.”

Alfred sighs, then answers “Yes.”

A few minutes later, while driving to Wayne Enterprises, Alfred notices Jason’s motorcycle almost literally flying by him. He was clearly speeding. Alfred quickly makes a mental note to scold him later.

When Alfred reaches Bruce’s office he walks in to be greeted with the sight of Bruce with his head in his hands, “I forgot to ask for her full name…”

“Did you get her first name?” Alfred asks.

“It was a hard name.” At that moment, something caught Bruce’s eye. On the couch in his office he spied a small folded up sticky note. Bruce picks it up and reads the small handwritten note, “Make cookies for Tikki and Pollen”. 

“Master Bruce, what are you doing?” Alfred asks as Bruce puts the note in his wallet.

Bruce looks straight at Alfred and says, “I found Cinderella's shoe.”

Through the security cameras, Tim  _ Todd _ was laughing his ass off. 

* * *

Lila checks her phone as Alya tries to jimmy Marinette and Chloe’s shared suite door opens. “Those bitches really have the audacity to take credit for your hard work!” Alya hisses.  _ Click.  _ She opens the door for Lila. “We just need to find proof that those thieves stole your work and we can leave.”

“Yes, that's all we need to do,” Lila begins before adding, “WAIT! Is that my dress?” The class had been told, before the trip began, to bring multiple sets of formal attire to wear at different gatherings and banquets Wayne Enterprises held during the year. As well as casual clothes to last the duration of the trip (i.e. three months). 

“Is it?” Alya inquires. She never remembered Marinette to be someone who stole clothes, Marinette could just make them herself. Couldn’t she?

“Yes it is. Prince Ali bought it for me on my last trip to Achu! I saved it so I could wear it to see my  _ DamibearI!”  _

“So Lila. What do you want to steal it back?” Alya asks, expecting Lila to say she wants to steal it back.

“If we steal it back, she might blame me when I wear it! I don’t want that attention. I don't know…” Lila camouflages her thoughts, she knows what she wants. She then bursts into animated tears, “I really wanted to wear that dress to surprise my _Damibear_! We were going to match and this dress is the exact shade of blue we agreed on!” The liar then looks up at Alya with faux hope, she already knew this would work, “Can we take a sample?”

With scissors in hand, Alya grins “We can take more than  _ just  _ a sample.” After shredding the dress, the girls light a match to burn it. After the dress was practically ashes, they quickly walked out of the suite, The neglected embers in the room blazed brighter. 

* * *

“Ok, I don’t wanna do dead people paperwork so wear this helmet,” grins Jason as he tosses Marinette a helmet. “So, did Bruce pop the dreadful question?”

“Huh?” Marinette, thinking about the other question. “Uhhhhh, I’m too young for that and you know…..”

“Not that one,” Jason shakes his head. “The “ _ can I adopt _ you”, I bet he did. I swear, Brucie can't just get all the black haired, blue eyed, tragic backstories kids (Prompted by Constance_Truggle).”

“Oh… yeah he did. He said to  _ “not resist” _ , but I kinda have parents.” Marinette sheepishly shrugged

“Oh, that's not gonna stop him. Not much can. Hop on. It might be a bit fast but you’ll get used to it. By the way, what’s the address?”

Marinette hands him a slip of paper with the address written on it, “By the way, name’s Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“Name’s Jason Todd, or recently I also started going by what your friend mentioned  _ Jason Grayson _ .”

“ _ Comment allez-vous, Monsieur Jason “Grayson” Todd _ ” Marinette giggles.

“Save that french for my other brothers.” Jason sits on his bike then answers with great effort, “ _ Ca va bien _ .” Marinette chuckles.

Marinette sits down on the motorcycle, behind Jason. “How fast can this thing go?” she asks.

“Pretty damn fast.” Jason looked back at Marinette, “Don’t have an exact number.”

“Wanna find out?” Marinette’s mischievous grin was enough for Jason to turn around and rev the engine.

“Fucking finally, someone understands!” Jason floors the acceleration and the cycle ran like nothing before. “Today she’s really feeling it!” Jason yells back at Marinette, both hands firmly gripping the handlebars.. “She’s never run so fast and smooth!”

Behind him, one of Marinette’s arms is wrapped around him. The other arm holding her hand to the cycle as she forces her energy to flow into the cycle, accelerating it. “I bet she never did.” 

Around the two, the world dissolves into cold streaks of lights and colours as they raced whatever they wished. They flew by cars, by trucks and by buses laughing, air pushing their hair back.

“FASTER!” Marinette cheers, a request Jason is prompt to address with his foot and the gas pedal. 

“You are my type of person!” Jason laughs into the wind as it speeds up. “I have an idea!” Jason turns to a ramp going up to the top of a building and using the momentum build to leap from rooftop to rooftop. Shingles flying, Jason jokes “Good thing you’re wearing my helmet.”

“Good thing,” Marinette grins from behind him, making sure to give the cycle a steady flow of her essence to keep it from falling. 

Jason saw that the roofs ahead would be difficult to scale with a motorcycle, and began to plan his descent to the roads, and before he realized the cycle flew off the roof. Jason, frozen in shock tense up. 

Marinette, from behind him, stands up on the cycle, reaches over his shoulders and takes control of the cycle, landing safely between two cars. “Here you go,” she says with adrenaline rushing through her vessels, to the dumbstruck Jason. His senses quickly recuperate, and he again has his hand on the handlebars, driving the cycle. 

“THAT WAS BADASS! WOOOOO!” Jason yells as he weaves through cars. The closer he got to the address Marinette gave him, he smelled the familiar smell of more and more smoke. “Smoke?” He accidentally thinks aloud. 

“Yes, it does kind of smell like smoke.” Marinette is now worried, something is wrong. “Is Chloe okay?” she thinks, “Faster.”

Jason complies, but he knows this time it’s different. She is worried. They soon make it to the hotel, or the sky high flames engulfing the hotel. 

“Where is Chloe?” ( _ the twist in this chapter, I can feel the angstiness. - Ollietheturtle) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done. Im gonna start the next chapter soon. I think in the next one we'll see Damian and I have a funny idea how to twist a classic ozmav trope. 
> 
> Like always lmk in comment if you have a prompt, ive already got idea on how to include lots of the one's ive gotten or claimed as prompts. lmao.
> 
> Love Ollietheturtles end commentary <3! Really pulls the piece together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yea. Here's the chapter. sorry for the long wait, life hit like a bus (and i suck). school is starting for me tomorrow so please please please wish me luck bc imma fail math. 
> 
> anywho, for anyone who wants to talk or chill or whatever, i made a discord. idk if it will be active or not but yea. its basically a groupchat for everyone bc im bad at doing life and i need friends leave your friends applications in my DM (all will be accepted bc i am in desperate need and i love yall for reading my stuff)
> 
> Link for the discord: https://discord.gg/rKuUBvQ

It was NOT his fault. At least not how he sees it. Damian Wayne sits on the edge of a building, his feet dangling in phantom winds. 

Him punching Todd was not his fault. He deserved it. Who even is  _ Damibear _ ? What the fuck even is a  _ Damibear,  _ and why did Todd call him one? What the fuck?

“I should ask father when he comes home” Damian thinks to himself as he stands up and stretches his hips, moving from side to side. Before leaving he had waited for his father at home, he did not show up. Alfred and his brothers had decided to throw a party for father after his many and multiple back to back business trips. He had even dealt with Jason driving him home. He’s even old enough to get a probationary license. 

A split second before he is about to jump on to an adjacent rooftop, he felt something or  _ someone _ ram into him. 

* * *

It was NOT her fault. That motherfucker asked for it. Harley watches as the hotel in front of her burns to the ground. 

The damned Joker, he tried to fuck with her again. For that, she had collected a good lot of his explosives, set them up and had them hurdling their way through a hotel window via the help of a makeshift catapult.

Will what she did inconvenience the Joker? Maybe, Harley had heard through the grapevines the Joker was planning some sort of grand entrance at that hotel in a couple days. But mostly no, it would not hinder him too too  _ too  _ much. But, would it make her feel better? Yes, and isn’t that important. 

“Umm… Harley… I love you but you might wanna say something about that. You know, so they don’t blame a poor highschool kid,” Poison Ivy says from behind her. “That’s where Bruce is keeping his little french exchange class.”

“Ah! Brucie! You have bitty exchange class? My little sugar plum!” Harley bends over to pet the somewhat docile hyena beside her. Looking at him with the eyes of a proud momma. “My beautiful baby!”

“Wrong Bruce, Harley! I’m talking about  _ Bruce Wayne _ .”

“Ah you mean Mista Wayne. You know he has waaaaaaaaay too many kids.” Harley gives Brucie (the hyena) a kiss on his snout, “One is enough for me, I love you baby!”

“Yes Harley. Brucie great, amazing but the class. You send a blazing cannonball into the hotel. You need to maybe give Bats a heads up about that.”

“Awwww. I didn’t even do that much. You and I both know that room was in flames before I set the hotel on fire.”

“There is a difference between a kitchen fire, and a flaming explosive cannonball that kamikazes destroys an entire hotel.”

“Do I have too…” Harley pouts, pleading beside Brucie. “You know Joker was planning to do something there in a few days so it would have been destroyed anyway.”

“No. Up Harley. We are going to apologize.”

“Ok. But that was great right!”

“Yes it was Harley. It was great. Amazing even.”

“We should do this again.” Ivy shakes her head, knowing that no matter what she says, Harley will, in fact, do it again.

* * *

Chloe, seething with anger propels herself past gothamite architecture. She looks for either her dear Marinette or Jason, who she has very special plans for involving much pain.

Soon she finds herself propelled face forward into a body, a foreign one. Who was this? The man turns around and upon seeing him: “He ugly as fuck,” was her first thought. 

“Excuse me, have you seen a girl with blue eyes and dark hair named Marinette? Or a young adult named Jason with a white streak in his hair,” she asks with as much patience she could possibly muster in such a situation. Which was not much. At all. He didn’t answer fast enough. “Pathetic,” she hisses as she flies off.

“What the fuck,” Damian thinks aloud. “What the living fuck!” He then yells into the void of Gotham’s rooftops. Which is then interrupted by the sound of loud motorcycle revving. Jason’s motorcycle. 

He follows them, who’s sitting behind Jason? Their faces were obscured by a motorcycle helmet. And why were they on roofs. “What the fuck is happening??? Did the person in the back just fucking land a motor cycle that flew off a building? WHAT THE FUCK!” 

* * *

Bruce sat at his table, head in his hand above the note.  _ Make cookies for Tikki and Pollen _ ,  _ Make cookies for Tikki and Pollen, Make cookies for Tikki and Pollen, Make cookies for Tikki and Pollen.  _ “Master Bruce, you should probably head home,” Alfred says while making coffee for himself. 

He spent the day making a nice cake for Bruce, it was his first free week in months. He hadn’t been home for weeks. Each family had worked around each of their schedules to plan this party for him. Even Jason has agreed to pick up Damian for the sake of freshly made food.

“Alfred, this is Cinderella’s shoe. I need to find who she is. I need to adopt her. NEED Alfred, NEED.” Bruce whines. “Ten more minutes, please.”

“Very well, Master Bruce.” One would think there is a limit to how many kids a billionaire can adopt, but there isn’t. But Alfred won’t complain. More grandchildren for him. It then hit him. “Why adopt her, Master Bruce? Don’t you think it would be a good idea to set her up with say… Master Damian?” 

“Maybe, but Damian is intense, he would scare her off. It would be a safer bet to adopt her,” the billionaire serial-adopter mumbles as he wonders who Tikki or Pollen are. “Pets?” he thinks, “You don’t feed pets cookies?” 

“Master Bruce, how do you plan to find said mystery girl.”

“Ask every girl who remotely looks like her to write this exact sentence.”

“Master Bruce, this may seem like a Cinderella story but it is not. For one, you could do this in a much efficient manner. I suggest you start looking in the french exchange class, one can infer she is one of the students.”

“Then I can ask her to write this sentence?”   
  


“Yes, whatever makes you happy.”

* * *

“Where is Chloe... and why is there a hole in our room?” Marinette, a single nanometre away from exploding into confetti dust. She rapidly descends from excitement to terror. Was Chloe inside? The hotel roof is probably a hair width from coming caving in. She had to go in.

“Wait!” Jason calls out behind her as she races straight towards the east end. “Marinette!” She doesn’t turn back, rather she swerves a corner, followed by many others, leaving Jason running in circles looking for Marinette. He grabs his phone, talking to whomever’s name his fingers hit, “There’s a fire at the hotel with the french exchange student. And I lost Marinette.”

Unbeknownst to him she was on the rooftops above him charging straight into the fire. 

* * *

“Who’s Marinette?” Damian thinks. He remembers the incredibly rude girl  _ “a girl with blue eyes and dark hair named Marinette” _ Her? Was this Marinette person with Jason? Come to think of it, the other person the rude girl was looking for was probably Jason. Who was the rude girl? Who is Marinette? “Wait, let me dial father. I’m heading over, send an address.”

“I’ll text it to you. Bring my shit with you.” 

Damian hangs up and calls Bruce, a few seconds into explaining what happened he hears Bruce gasp, “Her name’s Marinette!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So done. Like I said before, school's starting soon so yea. My update schedule is so lousy I don't think it could get much worse so dont worry about that. 
> 
> Hopefully next update comes out soon, and we'll see more of bruce really wanting to be a papa (a prompt/headcannon/thing from the comments im 100% gonna use)
> 
> Thx so so so much Ollietheturtle for editing my stuff. literally the sweetest person ever, even recommended grape juice for migraines. <3 <3 <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so. Life hit like a bus. Now i'm sitting in social acc writing this chapter. This seems like a hella tough chapter. Bc #1, this is kinda a filler chapter towards another chapter that i really wanna do. 
> 
> Ok. Its like 3 days later at lunch. Procrastination 100. My friend has to go to some student council campaign meeting. I was gonna run but then flashbacks to grade 9 me running for vp. Against highschoolers. I big boi lost by a landslide. And was made fun of. SO no, never again. So I thought I should start writing. Now. Ill. Actually. Start. Writing. 
> 
> Its been 4-ish days since last time. Shit, I gotta update. Im so sorry. Im just gonna blame school bc that is the stem of my writers block rn. Aaaaaaaaaaa. Helpppppppp. Someone send aid bc i need it rn. Acc, its not really writers block, but rather i know what im doing but idk how to write it lmao.

Pitch Black. 

Tall tendrils of flames. 

“CHLOE!” Ladybug screams, smoke burning her lungs. 

Her suit protected against the flames torching her body, but not the smoke, in the panic she forgot about getting a wet rag, not the pain of falling debris.

Floor one. Floor two. Floor three. Floor four. 

On floor four, Ladybug falls and doesn’t get back up.

* * *

Exhausted, Chloe reclines on a chimney. She’s been running for a while, and in her moment of peace she sees a red figure in the distance. “Maribug?” Pure unfiltered willpower funds her movements as she painstakingly catches up with the figure. It was not Marinette. 

“Marinette?” she huffs. 

“Who are you,” a figure with a red hemet replies. 

“Marinette?” Hornet asks again, more urgently, more impatiently. “I’m Hornet.” Too tired to give a proper introduction, she reaches back to her stinger and pulls up a video of her helping LB in Paris, “I’m good.”

Half confused, Red Hood says “Last I saw a girl named Marinette she was in front of the hotel with french kids. Heard from a… Jason Todd? That she’s missing. He asked me to help find her, but right now the hotel’s on fire, and priorities… ya know.”

Hornet flies off “Fuck. That dumb little shiet!” She already knows where Marinette is. Hornet begins a laboured run towards… she turns around “Which way is the hotel?”

Red Hood points left, “There.”

And Chloe was off. She needed to find a way to get inside. I mean, she eventually did, because if she didn’t she wouldn’t be the collapsed body right next to Marinette. 

* * *

“Ivy? Are those... kids?” Harley thinks aloud, removing her gas mask to get a better view.

“Yes,” Ivy replies. “And keep your mask on,” she pulls the mask back onto Harley’s face. “The Bats have only just started working their way up the hotel, it would be a good idea if we…”

“Keep them?” Harley finishes hopefully. 

“No, I was about to say:  _ get them out of the building. _ ” 

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“No.”

“....”

“...”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“...Yes!”

“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine, since I love my amazing wife, just this once, imma give in.” Harley dramatically places the back of her hand on her forehead as she hauls a body over her shoulder. “Just this once!” she sticks her tongue out.

“Harley!!” Ivy groans, realizing that she had been  _ BaMbOoZlEd _ and the fact that it would be pointless to argue with Harley. She too hoists the other body over her shoulder. “Can we give at least one back? Can we really take care of two kids?”

Harley turns to face Ivy “No and yes, I ain’t given’ up on any of these beauties,” she laughs. “Selina already has a few, it’s finally our turn.” She hops from piece to piece of burning wood. “Hurry up! Brucie is waiting! I’m sure he, Doug and Lou would love to meet them! And we need to call Selina and tell her.”   
  


“Whatever you say, Harley” Ivy grins. She sure was a sucker to love. 

* * *

When Red Hood finally reached the hotel, most of it had burnt down. According to what Demon-Spawn snapped, Bruce was already in the burning mess looking for possible survivors. He admittedly had taken a bit of a detour on his way back to the hotel to look for Marinette. And he has quite a few questions about a new hero that he had just met… “Was it… Hornet?” He thought. 

Nevermind, he thinks. Right now there are more pressing matters. “Parisian exchange students!” he calls out. They were almost casually(?) talking amongst themselves. Did they not realize the dire circumstances they were in? He soon finds Mrs. Bustier who even now had not realized now was the perfect time to take a headcount, something she had not done all day. Her attendance list was so neglected it could quite honestly sue her for child* neglect (*child being the list and the left behind students).

“Chloe?” Mrs. Bustier calls out. Her name being the first one of the two missing girls. 

“She’s probably not even staying in this hotel.” Alya snickers, “Her highness can’t stand sleeping on cotton sheets, only silk for her.” The class laughed at her joke, and continued joking while attendance continued.

“Marinette? Where’s Marinette?”

A golden opportunity. “I don’t know, but from what I learnt from my trip to Brazil is how to tell where fires start.” Lila, continuing to shamelessly spew lies “If you look at the hotel you can see that the fire started from Marinette’s room.” While fiddling with a loose strand of hair Lila smirks, “Don’t you think it’s weird both Chloe and Marinette are gone. Maybe they… I don’t know… started the fire?”

“You know them Lila, they love seeking attention. They probably set their room on fire just to get saved by some gothamite vigilante.”

“If Marinette really wanted to meet Batman, she should have just asked me.” Lila purposefully murmured. 

“What do you mean?” Kim asks confused from behind Lila.

She turns around and blushes, “Well… I probably shouldn’t have said that but… you know. I have connections. Batman thinks of me like his daughter, know what I mean…” 

Needless to say, Jason Todd’s eyeballs were hanging on thin threads outside of their sockets. “Oh my fucking god. What the ever-living fuck did I just experience.”

* * *

Batman had just climbed out of the costco-sized bonfire when he saw the exchange students and a slack-jawed, appalled, speechless and somewhat annoyed Red Hood staring straight at a… sausage girl? Was that a sausage girl? No, he was just hungry. He walks over to Jason and says, “No one’s inside, are all the french students here?” 

“Did... she said… what the… Batsy… the dumb…” clearly Jason had crashed. 

Before he could further squeeze an answer out of Jason he gets a call. “Selina” Bruce reads in his head before answering. “Catwoman?” 

“Yes Batman. I’m calling because Ivy wanted Harley to want to let you know that she accidentally started the hotel fire.” Selina sings amused. “Harley also wants you to know she beat you to a  _ honeycomb  _ and a  _ beautiful blue-eyed dark-haired beauty _ .”

Batman was confused for a second before it clicked. He looks around, “Marinette?” He thinks. “Marinette!” He yelps. He would  _ not  _ lose to Harley Quinn.  _ He would not _ !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so, i finished writing this yesterday and thx to Ollietheturtle, I got it edited to post today!!!!
> 
> And! Can we just pretend that the new york special didn't happen. The new information (ex: pigeonman's akumatization record and what miraculous suits are made of) however will be included bc it aligns with my evil agenda.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So its been a day since I wrote the last chapter. I finally found a way to actually write in school. Yay. My friends are out at 7/11 so yea. Finally! Time! And appropriate seating that doesn’t inform the entire highschool about my HoBbY lmao. Anywho. This chapter’s gonna be “phun”. 
> 
> Oh Yea. And the Batfam family structure is the same as but I just wanted to give Harley 3 Hyenas (Bruce is from Birds of Prey) instead of 2 because the more hyenas the better. 
> 
> Its 2 days later. Ok i feel like im writing my autobiography here, but hey. Yall signed up for this, not me (i did but shush). 
> 
> Its been 2 days since last paragraph. Im probably gonna finish the chapter today! 
> 
> It’s been a while, needless to say I didn’t finish.
> 
> Ya'll gonna like this one, i just finished writing and...damn. damn i had fun. OOC Bruce is shining rn, dont stare at it without vision protection or else you may go blind.

Chloe rubs her eyes with the backs of her hands, surrounded in foriegn warmth. And this specific warmth had a… heartbeat? Wait. What? Chloe’s eyes slowly focusing on the yellow-tinted light above her head. “Pam-A-Lamb! Look! Honeycomb’s waking upppp!” Harley squeals, her hands clapping together,watching Chloe inquisitively. 

Chloe quickly sat upright defensively. Immediately her eyes are drawn to Pollen as she sits on a plate beside a blonde woman. “Pollen?” Chloe asks surprised, a thought later she lunges for Pollen and reaches up to ensure she still has her comb and it hasn’t been stolen. “Thank kwami,” she exhales relievedly. 

“Calm down, My Queen,” Pollen reassures. “They helped you and Maribug get out of the fire.” She points back to the two women, “They’re names are Harleen and Pamela, Tikki and I were hungry and they fed us. They are safe.” 

Harley quickly cuts in, “You can call us Auntie Harley and Auntie Pammy!”

“Did Tikki…” 

“Yes, Tikki agreed. She was ravenous. Just now she was playing with Pamela in the plants.” Tikki, who’s lounging on a leaf, offers a lazy wave. Was she wearing...Sunglasses? At night? Oh, yes, yes she was. Pollen flew closer, “Yes, She’s wearing those at night-time.”

She felt the softness she was reclining against, move. She looked down, and felt a cry climb its way up her throat.”Oh, no need to worry honeycomb.” Harley chuckles as she approaches the sleeping girls. “They are beyond docile. Harmless!” The older blonde bent down gently petting the dogs. “Unless, you know. I want them to not be.” Chloe’s eyes widen, “BUT! Ya don’t gotta worry. I like ya and blueberry!” Harley singsongs. “Wanna cookie?” She offers. 

“Sure,” Chloe cautiously accepts Harley’s cookie. “By the way, how did we get here?”

Pamela from across the room answers, “Harley and I made a… mistake. And in an attempt to fix it, we looked through the burning hotel for survivors and we found you too sprawled on top of one another.” Poison Ivy makes her way to the girl and bands down to check on Marinette, then reasons, “You most likely both collapsed from inhaling too much smoke. She should wake up soon.”

* * *

“SELINA! Where do your friends live??? Tell me now.”

“Sorry Batsy… No names on the comms,” Catwomen purrs from her perch, out of Batman’s line of sight. “Have fun!” she laughs before melting into the shadows. 

Frustrated, Batman makes his way back to his cave and finds Tim busy doing whatever he is doing on his Nintendo Switch. “Tim, I need you to find out where Harleen Quinn and Pamela Isley live.” 

Tim, faking enthusiasm in his game, parrots, “Sure, B.” When doors close he smirks, “The adoption games begin.” 

On the other side of said doors, Bruce whips his phone out and dials Damian. “Yes, father?” he immediately answers. 

“Where are you?”

“I’m walking to the library, I need to pick-up a textbook for a project.”

“I have a favour to ask of you, since you are already outside can you look for a girl named Marinette.”

Damian, with his previous questions about said name still unanswered asks, “Okay, but who is this Marinette character? I heard Todd mention her before but I have no recollection of the name.” 

“Robin, this is incredibly important, she is a girl around 5’4 with blue-tinted hair and blue eyes. She is incredibly strong, amazing, magnificent, intelligent…”

“Yes. But, who  _ is _ she?” Damian presses, annoyance weaved his words. 

“When you bring her, you’ll understand.  _ Hurry _ ! Tell Jason to do the same.” Bruce then hung up on an irritated and confused Damian Wayne. 

“I don’t really need to tell him, he’s already looking for her,” he says to no one in particular. 

* * *

Jason, after the hotel fiasco, is currently walking through Crime Alley. If Marinette found her way here she was SCREWED™. As his head was buried in a mediocre-sized dumpster, he suddenly heard his phone ring. _ Tim Todd _ . Jason, with dumpster hands, picks up. 

Before having the chance to squeeze in a word Tim says, “She’s at Harley and Ivy’s place. I'm sending the address. Bruce is looking for her, he’s been running around here looking like what can only be described as a teenage girl missing one AirPod.”

“Tim, send the address faster. And get  _ off _ the internet.” Tim grumbles as he hangs up and sends the address. Tim Todd would have quite the amusing night. Back to Animal Crossing. 

* * *

Pamela sits behind Marinette weaving flowers in and out of her hair. “Ladybugs are good with plants right?” she asks. 

“Well… Yes. According to Tikki, but for the longest time all my plants died. It wasn't my fault though! Chat Noir kept knocking them off to get my attention.” She turns her face to look out the window. “Which I never gave.” 

Chloe, sitting at the kitchen counter eating lemon-drop cookies, turns around, “It was never your job to, how do I say it,  _ entertain  _ his... _ delusions _ .” 

Harley chimes in quickly, “Who’s Cha-” There was a knock at the door. Then another, a more impatient one. 

“Iveeeeeeee,” Harley gives Pamela puppy-eyes. “Pleaaaasssseeeee!” 

Pamela gets up and opens the front door, “Who the fuck goes around knocking on doors at...what?” she checks the clock, “Nine PM?” She recognizes the man’s face, “Harls, a Wayne brat’s here!”

Quickly in the kitchen Harley sits on the countertop with one leg over the other and her tea in her hand. “Send him in,” she says, failing an attempt at a distinguished accent. 

Jason Todd walks in rather unafraid. It was only Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Harley separated from the Joker, and at the moment Jason wasn't doing anything jeopardizing the environment. But, that was before he saw Chloe and experienced something called, “If I wasn’t in a room surrounded by objectively intimidating people, who I don't want my reputation ruined in front of, I would shit my pants, wet my bed and cry all at the same.” She really be staring needles into his soul. 

“What brings a...Jason Todd? To my humble abode this fine evening?” Harley questions sipping her tea daintily, or as dainty as she physically could. 

“Ummm… Bruce was looking for her. She’s missing.”

* * *

After a shit-load of Animal Crossing, Tim sighs. Bruce’s continuous pacing was driving him insane. Tim sighs, annoyed. “Should I?” He thinks. 

“Ughhhhh!” Tim turns and quickly scribbles Harley’s address on a slip of paper. “B, here you go.” He rolls over, still sitting in his chair. 

Bruce looks at the paper with watery eyes, “You are...”, he wipes his eyes, “ _ so _ kind!”

“OK. Whatever, just  _ go _ !” Tim says, shooing Bruce away. With his hands already on the keyboard he wonders, “So there’s Batman, Bruce Wayne, and Crybaby adoption  _ I-just-wanna-be-a-papa _ Bruce. So many personas.”

As Bruce exits the Batcave another door opens , “Heya!” Dick cheers. “I’m Hoooome.”

“Just in time! Wanna see something?”

* * *

After much  _ “discussion”  _ (aka: Chloe screaming “lemme at ‘em”), Chloe and Jason came to a much needed compromise. Marinette could do one thing,  _ one thing _ , to Jason as revenge. Whatever she wanted. 

And revenge is served best as Harley Quinn’s backup pink hair-dye. Jason Grayson is now, what many would call, an “E-Girl”. 

Jason and Marinette are currently found sitting on the floor, eating salted caramel popcorn. Waiting for the hot pink color to fully saturate Jason’s white hair strand. “OK, so she said…” Jason throws popcorn in the air and catches in his mouth, “the fire was totally your fault!” 

Marinette chokes with laughter. “Don’t expect anything less from Lie-la.” Both of them and Harley spent the last hour sitting around talking about Lila’s outrageous lies, Jason flabbergasted by the AuDaCiTy. And laughing. 

Chloe scowled, and played with Bud, Lou and Brucie. She thought they should have dyed his whole head highlighter yellow. Then she spent time talking with Ivy. 

“Ya know, no one really should. Seems like a bitch.” she mutters before turning to Jason. “Ya should tell Mista Big Boi Bruce…”

“I'M COMING IN!” A yell filled the relatively large apartment, a certain Bruce Wayne came barrelling through the door.

“Speak of the idiot, and he arrives on his chariot of dumbass-ery. Ya know we got a fucking doorbell? Did ya stupid fucking bat-brain forget to fucking echolocate before ya came crashing though our door?”

“Harley, don’t cuss in front of the kids.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im posting this stuff like... minutes after writing it. Ollietheturtle is THE best editor. like... minutes after I send her my stuff... like in the middle of the night... its back. like damn. u good at this. aaaaaa thx so so so so so mucchhh!! Check her out, she has so many A+ stories (Stories? Amazing. Hotel? Trivago.) 
> 
> But yea. do that^. 
> 
> Hopefully next chapter will be up before hell freezes over. Don't drink canola oil kids, Buh-byee. *dramatic exit*


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